Show me a person who claims 100% confidence and I’ll show you a liar. Who doesn’t carry insecurities and doubt? We all do. I’d prefer to think of it as the vulnerability of being truly human. Life doesn’t go as expected or planned. We suffer trauma. We become fearful.
Part of adulting is getting over all that, healing and growing. We seek out partners and create situations that make us face those childhood demons. Perhaps that is why create goals for ourselves, to accomplish them and feel confident in ourselves, to really SHOW “them”. But who is “them”? To whom exactly are we comparing ourselves? It’s bullshit, people. Our battle is within. It’s one of self-acceptance, self-love, and forgiveness. It’s realizing that there is nothing wrong with you. And then, like magic almost, you start treating yourself with kindness, with the royal treatment in how you eat, think, do! You create healthy boundaries and stop allowing the people and things in your life who drain you, who judge and degrade you and your choices.
There’s a distinction between being competitive and constantly comparing yourself to others. The latter will send you down a dark path. There’s never a reason NOT to be confident but if you consistently find yourself in the comparison games, you’ll sadly be trapped never feeling good enough. Mature athletes know that the fiercest competition is within themselves. The camaraderie of sport allows us to push ourselves and push each other to be our best. It shouldn’t be about trying to crush another. Nor should life.